Thursday, November 20, 2014

Holiday Blues


    The holidays are here again.  Thanksgiving marks the beginning of what most of us think of as the warmest time of the year.  The temperature outside can dip, but the internal warming that we experience, seems to radiate stronger during this time of year.  This warming comes from the relationships we have with family and friends.  It is a special time when we can gather as families and renew those loving feelings we have for each other.
However, for some of us, the holidays can be a bitter-sweet experience.  We notice the loss of our loved ones more profoundly during these times, because those we miss would be a large part of our holiday experience.  The worst feelings of loss can be felt during those quiet moments when memories of past holidays unavoidably present themselves as we listen to music, look at the decorations, eat the food and notice our other loved ones who are visiting. 
We don’t have to turn these memories into something bad. I know first hand, that we can be saddened even by what should be pleasant memories.  Some memories are sought after just to keep us sane. 
As for myself, I love to remember all of those important moments of the past, even what some would call the bad times.  It helps remind me about the blessings I have received.  I love to feel the warmth of the season and the feelings that it gives me to remember.  What I hate is the emptiness that comes from missing the ones who are no longer there.
I have found that it helps me when I focus on those special people who are still here.  It doesn’t drive that emptiness completely away, but it helps to fill my heart with love for more of those who are important to me.  That alone seems to get me through the holidays and still helps me feel connected to the holiday.  Without those feelings of love, the holidays would feel flat and lifeless.  Then, it would be easy to forget, that this part of the year is anything more than just colder.
It might be true that the holidays create the most feelings of depression than any other time of the year.  I suppose it is the time of year when we focus upon our feelings more.  I suppose we notice our loneliness more during this time of year.  We might be noticing our failings more as well among the other problems in our lives.  Regardless of our reasons of malaise, some find more pain than joy within this time of year.
To battle the emptiness of any situation, I have found that the more I am involved in something, the more happy and more upbeat I become about it.  If I will force myself into the season and I make myself busy serving people, going to programs, watching related movies, listening to music, decorating, trying to surprise or do something special for my loved ones, or even write a story about the season, I feel much better.  The missing of loved ones never goes away, but the creation of new memories for the future and the living in the “here and now,” soon overpowers the emptiness I feel.
I am so grateful for Debbie and my children and grandchildren for helping me remember how fun and wonderful this time of year can really be.  Though I am never out of touch with the loss of LeAnne, I am not crippled from it, and I do look forward to the holiday season.  It wasn't always so.
So for this Thanksgiving holiday, I’ll eat heartily, hug my loved ones, and let myself remember the good times, all while working hard to create better memories for next year.  If this next year follows the pattern of the years before, next year will be even shorter.  So it will be less time until we have to be involved in the holidays again next year.  Happy Thanksgiving everyone!  Now where’s the turkey?
Until next time,
Jene



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