The Hermit

Soon after losing my spouse, I felt like hiding out.  I didn’t want to see anyone, talk to anyone, or listen to anyone.  I just wanted to be left alone.  There were several problems with my feelings.  I still had a young son at home, I had a business to run and I had other responsibilities.  Most people at the time seemed to understand that I might want to step back and take some time away.  It made it easy to drop out of my regular activities. 
On the other hand, as I said, I had responsibilities and I knew that I couldn’t let people down.  I had learned by painful experience that in life, if you really want something, there are things that just have to be done, even when we don’t want to do them.
When I was young, my family drank a lot of milk.  We had a couple of cows that supplied that milk.  I and my brothers were responsible for the cows.  My parents had taught me, that cows get milked even when it snows, blows and freezes outside.  They get milked, even when there are things more fun to do.  They get milked, even when we are feeling sick.  Of course these are not the only lessons that my parents taught me in this regard, but this was one of those lessons that stuck with me.
In my business pursuits, I had learned to deal with irate customers, working long hours, do jobs I hated, even when I had planned family vacations or other things that I would have preferred to have been doing while being self employed.
So, when I felt like disappearing into the woodwork because of my loss, true to the things I had been taught, I forced myself to keep doing.  At first I was just going through the motions, because I knew I should be doing it.  Then, because I kept doing it, I began to find that it wasn’t quite as hard as it had been.  Gradually, I began not to mind doing it.  Finally I even began to enjoy things again.  It took a long time to get that far, but once again I learned an important lesson.  I learned that getting something worthwhile, requires hard work and sometimes gut wrenching endurance.
This lesson is one that I have had to learn time and time again.  I’m just glad that the Lord hasn’t given up on me, though I think, I hope that He believes that I finally get that lesson, so we don’t have to repeat it too many more times.
If you are experiencing the same feelings I did, I hope you will find your way back easier.  If not, I hope these thought will help.

Until the next post,

Jene